So one of my husbands cousins recently got married to a girl from back home (meaning they got married in Bangladesh and she was then brought over here by him) because he didn’t want to really get married and couldn’t find anyone that wanted to marry him in the UK. I don’t know him that well as he’s an older cousin (by a few years) but all i know is that i would not want to be married to him, he is the WORST husband ever and i truly feel sorry for her, i hope and pray that Allah SWT gives her sabr and that better things are around the corner for her.
Now i write about this because i feel there is a lot of negativity about arranged marriages (not forced – these are 2 very different things). In this case all the negativity is bang on the money.
Now this girl has had to move here, leave all her family and friends and everything she knows behind, i know all us brides do the same but its only a few miles at the most a couple of hundred miles, now imagine oceans and seas between you and your family? Awful… Cant imagine anything worse.
So she is young, younger than me, probably around 18 or 19 and her husband is over 30 — its wrong, but thats what these men do, they wait until they’re old balls and then go and bring some young girl over to cook, clean and skivv for them and their parents…. a glorified maid if you will. However sadly for her she doesn’t get paid and has to have sex with this guy…. now he isn’t hideous, Allah has made everyone beautiful in their own way, it isn’t his looks that make him so undesirable it would have to be his total lack of regard for his wife, for his duties and her feelings.
In our culture when you are a newlywed couple both sides of the family are supposed to invite you over for food (dawat), with this comes gifts, clothes and money which is given to either the bride or groom depending on whose family it is. Now at all the events that i have been at with my other half, events that they’re supposed to be at, the wife is there but the groom isn’t. His mum and dad invited everyone over to their house when the bride first came over to the UK as a celebratory event – he wasn’t there, he turned up just before everyone left dressed in what can only be described in rags, that just happens to be one occasion where he has done something like this. The poor girl is left in that house all day long to cook and clean and look after her in laws, which is the only reason why he did get married, so his parents are looked after.
Its such a shame to see a young girl being treated this way, one who isn’t from this country who doesn’t really have much family and has no other choice but to take it and do it all.
N
Path To Traditional 